The Myth of Balance: Heading Back to Work
Returning to work after parental leave is not just a logistical shift — it’s an identity shift.
In this episode, Dr. Emily Spaeth sits down with career coach Sarah Malin of Livelyhood Coaching to talk about what actually happens when you re-enter the workforce after maternity leave — the guilt, the mental load, the boundary-setting, and the quiet internal question: Who am I now?
If you are navigating returning to work after maternity leave, struggling with working mom guilt, or feeling the tension between your professional identity and your new mom identity — this conversation is for you.
The Emotional Reality of Returning to Work After Maternity Leave
Returning to work after maternity leave can feel overwhelming. Even if you love your job. Even if you planned for this. Even if you wanted this.
Because motherhood shifts your identity.
You are no longer just the professional version of yourself. You are also someone whose nervous system is wired to respond to a baby’s cry. Someone tracking sleep, feeding, developmental milestones, and daycare pickup times. Someone whose heart lives outside their body.
Sarah shares that identity is not one fixed thing. It’s fluid. Multifaceted. Socially constructed. And becoming a parent doesn’t erase your professional self — it expands you.
But that expansion can create tension.
Many parents feel:
Guilt for leaving their baby
Guilt for enjoying work
Fear of being seen as “less committed”
Anxiety about pumping, sick days, or flexibility
A deep longing to do both roles well
This is not weakness. It’s a completely normal part of the motherhood transition.
“Work-Life Balance” Is a Myth
One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is the idea that balance might be the wrong goal.
The phrase “work-life balance” implies that everything should fit perfectly in equal measure.
But parenting — especially postpartum — is dynamic. Some days require more from you at home. Some seasons require more from you at work. Trying to keep everything perfectly balanced often leads to maternal burnout.
Instead of balance, Sarah encourages boundaries.
Boundaries sound big and rigid, but often they are small micro-adjustments:
Not answering emails after a certain time
Blocking your pumping sessions on your calendar
Having a prepared script for manager conversations
Letting go of perfectionism
Saying “I’ll get back to you” instead of immediately agreeing
Boundaries are not selfish. They are protective. And they make sustainability possible.
You Have More Power Than You Think
Many workplaces were not designed for caregiving parents. That is real.
But you are not powerless.
Understanding your rights matters. For example, federal protections like the Providing Urgent Maternal Protections for Nursing Mothers Act (commonly called the PUMP Act) expanded protections for pumping at work.
Knowing what is legally required — and what is negotiable — gives you leverage and confidence.
Sarah also emphasizes:
Preparing for conversations with your manager
Connecting with other working parents
Clarifying your own values before negotiating flexibility
Recognizing transferable skills you’ve gained through motherhood
Motherhood builds leadership, efficiency, empathy, crisis management, and prioritization skills. Those are not deficits. They are strengths.
Working Mom Guilt and the Identity Shift
One of the deepest tensions discussed in this episode is the emotional pull between being a present parent and being an ambitious professional.
Guilt often arises from:
Cultural expectations
Internalized “shoulds”
Comparison to other parents
Workplace norms built around non-caregivers
But guilt does not always mean you are doing something wrong.
Sometimes it simply means your values are rubbing against a system that hasn’t caught up.
Identity is not either/or.
You can be:
A committed professional
A deeply attached parent
A person who needs rest
A person who wants achievement
A human in transition
The postpartum career shift is not just about logistics. It is about redefining success.
Practical Support for Navigating Postpartum Work
If you are navigating returning to work after maternity leave, here are a few grounded steps inspired by the episode:
Reflect on your current values. What matters most in this season?
Identify one boundary that would reduce stress immediately.
Learn your workplace protections and policies.
Script difficult conversations in advance.
Connect with other parents who understand this phase.
Release the expectation of perfect balance.
Small changes compound.
About Our Guest: Sarah Malin
Sarah Malin is a career coach specializing in supporting parents returning to work after maternity leave. Through Livelyhood Coaching, she helps clients navigate identity shifts, guilt, boundaries, and the unspoken tension of showing up as both a parent and a professional.
She works virtually across the U.S. and offers a complimentary 90-minute session to explore your goals and challenges.
Learn more at livelyhoodcoaching.com.
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Providing Urgent Maternal Protections for Nursing Mothers Act (The PUMP Act)
Dr. Emily’s blog on the PUMP Act (plain-language breakdown)
Livelyhood Coaching — complimentary 90-minute session
Oura Ring (10% off sleep and recovery tracking)
Ninni Co. Pacifier (code: BEWELLBABY for 10% off)
More About Dr. Emily
Dr. Emily Spaeth is a Doctor of Physical Therapy and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant specializing in pregnancy, postpartum recovery, and babies. She is the founder and CEO of Be Well Baby, a home-visit practice in Portland, Oregon, and the creator of the Beyond Birth Blueprint — an online educational community supporting parents through birth, recovery, babies, relationships, and nervous system health with confidence and compassion.
She is also mom to three of her own personal babies — a role that continually reshapes her identity, too.
If you are in the thick of returning to work after maternity leave, know this:
You are not behind.
You are not failing.
You are evolving.
And you do not have to navigate this season alone.
Love,
Emily
