Stress Free Potty Training: A Developmental Approach
Potty training has somehow become a race.
A 3-day sprint.
A sticker chart.
A power struggle.
But what if potty learning isn’t a task to check off your parenting list — and is instead a sacred developmental stage rooted in body awareness?
In this episode, I sit down with Annie Adamson, founder of Primal Child, to explore a completely different lens: Primal Potty Training™.
Annie blends movement science, nervous system literacy, ancestral parenting wisdom, and holistic pelvic and postpartum care — and her take on potty learning is refreshingly grounded, respectful, and deeply intuitive.
From Teen Mom to Primal Child™
Annie shares her journey from becoming a teen mom to spending over two decades studying child development, movement, and nervous system regulation.
Her work centers on helping parents reclaim trust:
Trust in their child’s innate intelligence
Trust in the body
Trust in developmental timing
The Primal Child framework rests on four pillars:
Movement
Ancestral nourishment
Nervous system regulation
Potty learning
And at the center of all of it is what Annie calls body literacy.
What Is Body Literacy?
Body literacy means teaching children to understand, interpret, and trust their internal sensations.
Hunger.
Fullness.
Fatigue.
Elimination urges.
When children are supported in noticing their bodily signals from infancy, potty learning becomes less about compliance and more about awareness.
Instead of “Tell me when you have to go,”
it becomes, “Let’s notice what your body feels like.”
That shift changes everything.
The Golden Window: 6–12 Months
One of the most surprising parts of this conversation is Annie’s concept of the “golden window” for introducing potty learning: 6–12 months.
Yes. Before walking.
During this stage:
Babies are naturally curious
There is less power struggle
Body awareness is forming rapidly
Resistance patterns haven’t solidified
Introducing the potty early doesn’t mean expecting independence. It means exposure without pressure.
It’s about normalization.
When the potty is simply part of life — like brushing teeth or sitting at the table — it stops being a battleground later.
Why the 3-Day Potty Training Method May Not Serve Your Child
The popular 3-day method often relies on urgency, rewards, or high-pressure immersion.
Annie doesn’t recommend it.
Why?
Because elimination is vulnerable.
And pressure activates the nervous system.
When a child feels watched, judged, or hurried, the body tightens. And tight bodies don’t eliminate easily.
Potty learning is a developmental milestone — just like crawling or walking. We don’t rush those. We support them.
Rhythm vs. Routine
One of the most powerful distinctions Annie makes is between rhythm and routine.
Routine can feel rigid.
Rhythm feels alive.
Rhythm creates safety through predictability — but with warmth.
For example:
Sitting on the potty after waking
Trying before bath
Including it in the bedtime wind-down
When potty time is woven into a gentle family rhythm, it stops being a dramatic event.
Rhythm regulates the nervous system.
And regulated nervous systems learn more easily.
Understanding Your Child’s Constitution
Annie introduces four general constitutional patterns in children:
Fire (strong-willed, driven)
Water (sensitive, emotionally attuned)
Earth (steady, slower to change)
Air (creative, distractible, quick-moving)
A fiery child may need:
Clear leadership + autonomy.
A watery child may need:
Softness + reassurance.
An earthy child may need:
More time + repetition.
An airy child may need:
Playfulness + novelty.
When we understand temperament, we stop personalizing resistance.
It’s not defiance.
It’s wiring.
Play by Proxy & Introducing the Potty Without Pressure
One of Annie’s favorite strategies is “play by proxy.”
Let dolls use the potty.
Read books.
Let older siblings model.
Instead of spotlighting the child, we normalize the process in the environment.
This reduces performance anxiety and builds curiosity.
“My Child Will Only Poop in a Diaper”
This is common — and deeply tied to nervous system safety.
Pooping requires relaxation.
If a child associates the diaper with security, it makes sense they prefer it.
Annie suggests:
Gradual transitions
Supporting posture
Maintaining connection
Avoiding shame
When we remove pressure, the body eventually cooperates.
Nighttime Potty Learning
Nighttime dryness is neurological and hormonal.
It cannot be forced.
Support includes:
Limiting pressure
Supporting hydration earlier in the day
Protecting sleep
Watching for developmental readiness
Again — rhythm, not rush.
Skip the Bribes
Sticker charts and candy rewards aren’t necessary when potty learning is introduced as a normal developmental stage.
External rewards can shift focus from body awareness to performance.
When a child learns to trust their internal cues, that confidence extends far beyond the bathroom.
How to Handle Family Criticism
If you’re choosing a different timeline or approach, family members may question it.
Annie encourages calm clarity:
“This is what’s working for our family.”
“We’re following her cues.”
“We’re approaching it developmentally.”
You don’t need consensus to parent with intention.
Upcoming Event in Portland
Annie Adamson is hosting an in-person Primal Potty Training Workshop this spring in Portland — hosted by Be Well Baby.
📍 SE Portland
🗓 March 8th
🕞 3:30pm
You’ll:
Get hands-on guidance
See different potty options
Ask your questions
Learn in community
Pre-walking little ones are welcome.
Connect with Annie
Instagram: @primal_child
Private Consultation with Annie Adamson
Primal Potty Training Handbook
Free Potty Training Masterclass
Learn more through Primal Child.
If potty training has felt overwhelming, pressured, or high-stakes, this episode is your invitation to soften.
Slow down.
Create rhythm.
Trust the body.
Potty learning isn’t a task to conquer.
It’s a stage to honor.
Love you all!!
