Newborn Sleep Tips Rooted in Brain Development
If you've ever found yourself at 2am, phone in hand, deep in a sleep training rabbit hole, wondering if you've already ruined everything — this one's for you.
Because the question most parents are asking about sleep is how do I fix this? And I want to offer a different question entirely: what if there's nothing to fix?
I sat down with Camilla Rae, founder of Full Circle Baby and one of the most thoughtful voices I've encountered in the infant sleep space. Camilla has been supporting families for over 20 years — more than 1,800 of them — and she comes at sleep not as a behavior to correct, but as a developmental process to understand and support. That distinction changes everything.
The biggest misconception about newborn sleep
Here it is: newborn sleep is supposed to look like newborn sleep.
Fragmented. Unpredictable. Frequently interrupted. Dependent on your presence. This is not a sign that something has gone wrong. It's a sign that your baby's nervous system is doing exactly what a brand new nervous system does — developing, integrating, and learning to regulate with your help.
We live in a culture that treats infant sleep like a project to be optimized, and it starts almost immediately. Is she sleeping through the night yet? Have you tried a schedule? You might need to sleep train. The pressure is real and it arrives before you've even caught your breath from birth.
What Camilla brings — and what I think parents are genuinely hungry for — is permission to zoom out. To see what's actually happening instead of measuring your baby against a standard they were never meant to meet yet.
What "supporting sleep" looks like instead
Sleep training, in the conventional sense, is about shaping behavior. Getting the baby to sleep in a particular way, in a particular place, with a particular amount of intervention from you.
Supporting sleep is different. It means understanding where your baby is developmentally, what their nervous system needs right now, and meeting them there — while also taking care of yourself in the process.
That might look like:
Protecting sleep pressure. Babies who are overtired have a harder time settling and staying asleep. Watching wake windows — especially in the early months — isn't about following a rigid schedule. It's about catching your baby before they tip into overstimulation.
Creating a predictable environment. Darkness, consistent sound, a familiar pre-sleep routine. Not because you're training the behavior, but because the nervous system settles more easily into the known.
Staying regulated yourself. Your nervous system and your baby's are in constant conversation. If you're flooded with anxiety at bedtime, your baby feels it. This isn't blame — it's just how co-regulation works. Taking care of your own nervous system is genuinely part of caring for theirs.
Responding rather than waiting. Camilla's framework is rooted in attachment and nervous system development. A baby whose cries are met builds the internal sense of safety that, over time, actually supports more independent sleep — not less.
Why "regressions" are actually signs of progress
The 4-month sleep regression. The 8-month. The 18-month. Parents dread them, and understandably so — just when things felt like they were settling, everything changes again.
But here's the reframe: these moments aren't regressions. They're developmental leaps. Your baby's brain is doing something new — integrating new motor skills, processing new cognitive awareness, reorganizing sleep cycles to become more adult-like. The disruption is a signal that growth is happening.
That doesn't make 3am easier. But it does make it mean something different.
The placenta and search and rescue dogs
I want to mention this because it's one of those things that stopped me mid-conversation and I think it will do the same for you.
Camilla collects placentas — donated by families she works with — and uses them to train search and rescue dogs. The scent training helps dogs locate missing persons, including drowning victims, in situations where they might not otherwise be found. It brings closure to families in some of the most devastating circumstances imaginable.
It's a beautiful, heart-wrenching piece of her work, and it says a lot about who she is. If you want to learn more or donate your placenta, there are links in the podcast episode.
What you can do tonight
If you're in the thick of it right now, here are a few things worth trying that don't require a program or a philosophy overhaul:
Put your phone down before you go in. The light, the scrolling, the comparing — none of it helps. Go in regulated and present.
Try a longer exhale before you pick them up. Even 10 seconds. Your breath is the fastest tool you have for shifting your own nervous system state, and that shift matters for your baby.
Lower the bar for tonight. Not the bar for their development — the bar for what tonight needs to look like. Everyone getting some sleep in whatever configuration works is a win.
Consider your environment. Darkness and consistent sound (white noise or similar) are two of the most evidence-supported, low-intervention things you can do for infant sleep. The Hatch lamp is something we mention often for good reason.
And if you're at a point where you need more support than a blog post can offer, Camilla does free consultations. That link is in the episode.
Sleep as a long game
Your baby will sleep. Not on the timeline the internet promises, and maybe not in the way the sleep training programs describe — but they will get there. The nervous system matures. Regulation builds. Night wakings decrease.
What you do in the meantime matters less about the specific method and more about the relationship underneath it. The safety your baby feels. The responsiveness they experience. The baseline of I am known and cared for that shapes everything downstream.
That's what Camilla is really talking about. And honestly? It's what we're all talking about at Be Well Baby, whether the topic is feeding, movement, or sleep.
The process is the point.
Love,
Emily
Listen to the full conversation with Camilla Rae on The Be Well Baby Podcast. And if you're building your support system for pregnancy, postpartum, or your baby's first year, the Beyond Birth Blueprint is our online membership community for families wherever you are. Text us at 971-351-2714.
