Mommy Brain is Real

In this episode, Barb Buckner-Suarez—a childbirth educator and parent coach with 25 years of experience—breaks down why postpartum conflict happens and how to navigate it with more connection and less blame. From the neurobiology of why your brain is wired differently than your partner's to how you can actually heal generational trauma, this episode will change how you see it all.

Key Takeaways:

Your Brain Changed — Your Partner's Didn't (Until They Met Your Baby)

Eight to nine brain structures shift in you when you think about becoming a mom. Your partner's brain only changes through active caregiving. Get them skin-to-skin immediately and involved in diapering, bathing, and feeding. This oxytocin boost creates the same wiring in their brain.

Postpartum Conflict Is 100% Normal

Hormonal crashes, sleep deprivation, learning hundreds of skills, and feeling like you're the only one who can do this—all collide in the first weeks. Normalize conflict. Get curious about your own triggers, not your partner's behavior. Slow down. Create an 8 p.m.–8 a.m. truce zone.

You Can Heal Generational Trauma—And It Ripples Outward

Two times in your adult life you can develop earned secure attachment: in a healthy partnership and through parenting. Your healing shifts your partner's brain, your kids' regulation, and everyone around you.

Practical Tools:

✨ Weekly Check-In — Sunday afternoons: "How you showed up for me" + "Where I needed support"

✨ Apology Language — Ask what a real apology actually feels like to your partner

✨ The 30% Rule — 30% attunement creates secure attachment. Repair is what matters.

✨ Know Your Triggers — What happens in your body? Know your physical signals so you can pause.

Resources Mentioned:

Cerise Chill (super slick breastmilk cooler) 

Ninni Co Pacifier — Code: BEWELLBABY for 10% off

Keywords:

postpartum conflict, maternal brain changes, couples communication, conflict resolution, secure attachment, generational trauma, cycle breaking, partner involvement, newborn, relationship advice, emotional regulation, family systems, microchimerism, oxytocin, parenting tips, conscious parenting, trauma healing, repair, caregiving

More about Barb:

Barb Buckner-Suarez is a Health Educator and Couples Coach with 25+ years of experience supporting families through parenthood. She considers herself a "Parenthood Guide," offering classes to prepare families for the normal challenges of pregnancy, birth, and beyond, as well as private 1:1 coaching for couples navigating birth trauma, identity shifts, and relationship reprioritization.

Her podcast "Birth Happens" explores vulnerability, connection, and intimacy in parenthood. When not working, she's hanging out with her husband Roberto of 29 years and their four kids—and their dog, Chico "The Wonder Dog"!

Barb’s Website: https://bbsuarez.com/

Barb’s Podcast: Birth Happens

Barb’s Course: I’m Pregnant, Now What?

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